The light from the florescent tube flickers on
as he tries to clean the caked blood from his temple.
The whiskey numbs the pain as he tries to focus the blurred figure in the dirty mirror staring back at him.
The dirt and filth blends perfectly with his perfect disaster.

''Get the fuck away from me! "the voice echoes in his mind as he removes his blood soaked shirt,
throwing it into the discolored water  swimming in the sink with his will to live.
The light goes off
with a screeching mechanical fault leaving him in  darkness.

He knows something is broken,
even as he yells to himself and laughs hysterically in the darkness,
The lone source of light bursts back to life again,
blood streaming from his head and onto his bony frame.

The music from outside drowns out his screams as he smears the blood across his face,
he laughs hysterically, again his friend in the mirror joins in.
There is nothing of him  there,
the him he knew is gone, just as the flickering light, he switched in and out of himself.

The whiskey in his veins keeps him warm,
at least warm enough to not care about where he is.
There is no awareness now,
No reason to be accountable for putting all the pieces together.

Something cold,
Something damp and worthless craters his soul.
He sees nothing but what he lost in  a mad dash to find himself,
The body that hid the turmoil now wasting away like discarded moving things.

Its dark again, he feels the void encompassing his being,
The dirty room  becomes his  paradise as night and day come and go with a flicker.
He screams in his heaven as his soul clamors for pain,
for anything, for a chance to reach out and put him together again.



I hit the wall with my clenched fist,
Blood spurting from my butchered knuckles,
The wall stares back,cold and unrelenting,
Taking the abuse,animated violent hate emanating from human fragility and emotional incontinence.

The sting of pain and the smell of fresh blood,
Labored breath forced through gritted teeth. 
The wall stares back at the self destructing union of cells and rage.
Staring at my immortal foe,i bang my head quelling voices of beings i will never see.

It feels good,
The pain,
The ringing in my ears.
The trembling of my legs and thumping of my beating heart.

The night comes into focus,
Every bleating cricket looking for grub and
Mosquitoes wailing in a feeding frenzy around my hands,
Mother Gaia herself whispers life and death to all her children.

She calls to me,
In her own way
She delights in my resolve to join her
As her beckoning caller the moon fills the sky with reckless abandon.

I stand there basking in his borrowed light
Leaning to one side as he chases his own will to be seen
Oblivious to his inevitable demise,he takes what he can brightening dead craters and valleys of dead soil.

The moment passes,he has bigger fish to fry as the sun leads him on.
Crawling through the darkness,i reach the wall again,
Hands mangled,i make feeble fists believing myself to still have a chance,
A chance to get through,to see whats on the other side of me.